Take a good, long, hard look at this man, Dr. Beauregard Lee Bercaw. Gator Man. You would not want to have a run in with him.
Oh, but you did, you say through your dozens of teeth?
Well, then, you must remember this: Beau won.
He took my brother Lee and me on several canoe trips past your jaws. On one of those occasions, we hit a group of you as dense as a log jam. Lee and I were frozen solid. Beau told us to sing, “Way Down the Suwanee River,” while he paddled by hitting you on your snouts.
A year ago, Beau hit a bend in the river that he couldn’t fight with such audacity. It robbed him of these memories. I might have been useless against you rascally gators way back when, but I’ve got Beau’s back on this one.