Abu Dhabi Don’t?

Dears,

So hey, remember yesterday’s post when I was all “I live everywhere” and shit? WIMG_1620ell today is another story. I have half a mind to not get on tomorrow’s plane. What happened on Jan 1, 2015 to cause a crack in my whole “divides conquered” motif as laid out on Dec. 31, 2014?

David Beauregard Nicholls.

He had a bit of breakdown while hanging out  with John, Ashley and Beckett this evening. David just burst into tears when thinking about leaving. Then I burst into tears about his sadness and my own grief about saying goodbye for now to the rest of the family. I could hardly stand socializing with them because I was so fixated on the impending moment when we’d have to say goodbye.

After that moment came and we went, David and I cried our eyes out the whole drive back to the (dis)Comfort Inn. At one point he paused long enough to ask his parents a question from the backseat.

“Mom and Dad, may I please say a swear word?”

“Sure,” Allan answered.

“DAMN YOU TWO!” he raged. “I love Vermont and I hate Abu Dhabi.”

You can imagine the swear words still going through my head about causing my son suIMG_1623ch grief and anger, as well as the sudden resurgence of my own fears and regrets. Worse yet, I felt like I couldn’t console David because I am one of the two causing him such despair.

We’re now snuggled in bed — bags packed, teeth brushed — watching House Hunters International. A few minutes ago I heard a noise in the other room and went out to check.

“David, your computer is on!”

“Mommy, I know, I put the rain sounds on to comfort us.”

Whenever he used to have bad dreams or worries about school, I’d soothe him to sleep with a storm soundtrack. I haven’t done so since we moved to Abu Dhabi — where it never rains.

Damn it.

Love,

Nancy

P.S. David just told me, after reading this, that he didn’t say “DAMN YOU TWO.” Instead, he said, “Damn YouTube.” So now I just feel insane.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One Comment Add yours

  1. Maya says:

    How is David now ? In a plane I guess exhausted and raw from all the saying goodbyes. I read your post and it really reminds me of all the times I have to say goodbye to family. The detachment in the last few days, the guilt, the doubt… And then I realised what I really can’t handle is the trauma of goodbye. Once I am back and settles it takes a while but all is fine….it’s the transition. When my Mum came recently I could feel the panic as the days got closer and then finally it was here…. I was going to have to be separated from some of the people I love so much …. I felt for you reading that post . Welcome back, your are loved here too xx

    >

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