Many friends and family members have expressed concern about my potential visit to see a possible killer. I’m considering safe ways to contact her (at some point) to see what she has to say about what what may or may not have happened in Seoul in 1988. She’s not gonna confess. And I don’t want to put myself in harm’s way.
While I sort those details out, I have made a major decision about the story and the DMZ in me.
I need to see Seoul again. Revisit the place, and the past, at age 48. It’s not just Carolyn that I need to redeem, it is South Korea too.
And Nancy Stearns Bercaw.
I’m going to re-write Swimming with the Dead backward (time-wise) as I explore an old experience with a new perspective.
I’ll retrace my steps: ELS language school, the Korea Herald, Itaewon, the bath houses, the Olympic Natatorium, and the DMZ.
I would like to apologize, privately and personally, to the country for my own confrontational behavior, and for my own contribution to a still-unresolved crime. That is all I can really control in this matter.
And in this manner, my story will be a memoir. Exactly what it was meant to be.